Easter: Nothing to do but sail

Easter Friday 21st March 2008. Everything was closed. We couldn't get petrol or booze or even food that wasn't bread from a bakery. So we hopped on Tui in the Hand: the only place our modern, materialistic lifestyles can operate sans shops. Eve was called away to keep a watch on the Easter processions on Mt Victoria and failed to join this adventure. We were due two new crew members but Emma let us down once again by partying until the government banned alcohol sales. However we were graced by the company of Ami, the new ship psychologist and resident Cliff Curtis (Sunshine Cliff, not Once Were Warriors child rapist Cliff).

We departed Duder's around 11.00 am and motored half way around North Head before raising the cloth for a good old fashioned drift down Rangitoto Channel. The wind was non-existent but we weren't out there to sail so it wasn't a problem. We compared pizza loaf with pizza bread side-by-side and decided the loaf was far superior. Sam built a refrigerator with a bucket, some water and a dry bag to keep a block of chocolate from melting. From now on the blue bucket is the fridge and the white bucket is the heavy weather toilet (yet to be used and not to be mixed up). As the ship Cliff Curtis, Ami made us exercise our minds to prevent intra-ship tension. We pondered what kind of fruit we would like to be and why. Shortly after we resorted to our old favourite: would you rather. Ben won with "would you rather lose four fingers or a leg?" Though Frenchie would rather drink mouldy Ch'i than get his freak on with Katie.

Becci was brave and jumped overboard first. Frenchie then captured Ben and then Sam jumping off at 16 frames per second (photos to come). A banana's density was compared to that of sea water - bananas float, unlike unopened bottles. We performed a very long tack around a fisherman near Narrowneck Beach around 1.00 pm and made our way back home. The wind remained fluky for the next two hours as we drifted towards and away the shore. Becci and Sam heroically propelled the boat from the water to avoid an anchored boat and later, rocks! We eventually rounded North Head, where the wind picked up and we cranked past the 3.0 knot mark.

Ben made us miss the buoy when we tried to moor by sail, but we cranked el outboard and we were happily moored a few minutes later. Sam manned William Shatner's Pants and rowed the girls to shore while Ben and Frenchie made the vessel ship-shape. Sam then picked them up and we were all home by 5.00 pm. Not bad. Happily, our psychologist did not die as predicted despite bringing a banana on board and being our Cliff Curtis. She is as keen as the rest of us for another outing and is welcomed into the crew. Hopefully when Emma finally joins us we will have as successful a trip.